It’s Easter, but where is our Easter basket?

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It's Easter, but where is our Easter basket?

Okay, so it’s Easter and neither Hermes nor I got any Easter baskets filled with treats. Hermes was upset, he’s about 4 hours younger than me, so that makes him my little brother. This photo is me giving him a little brotherly love. Sofia, she’s oblivious and sitting, again, at her computer sending out more queries and doing what she calls ‘marketing’ for her new book. A romance of all things. Please. She needs to write a book about how she abuses us by forgetting to give us a blasted Easter basket!

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Weather’s cold and I’m taking the bed!

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Weather's cold and I'm taking the bed!

A storm is blowing through and it’s gone cold again. That means, no matter what anyone says, me and my brother are taking the bed. There might not be any room for Sofia, but so what? She’s busy writing and working on a book that’s getting published. Seriously, who cares? I can’t read. Go ahead and write, Sofia! The laptop might be yours, but the queen-sized bed is mine!

I am a cat…I get the bed!

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I am a cat...I get the bed!

I love Sofia’s bed. It’s one of those memory foam things and is so comfy. The pillow isn’t bad either. Oh, sure, Sofia seems to think she should have the entire bed to sleep in, but I say no. NO! First of all, I’m a cat and we deserve only the best, as everyone already knows, and second, I have no hair and need a warm bed and comforter. Humans have clothes to keep them warm. Honestly, I think Sofia should sleep on the floor and let me have the whole bed for myself. She already complains that I take up half of the bed. Well, then if you’re not happy with the part of the bed I leave for you, sleep on the couch. Yawn…I’m sleepy, goodnight.

I’ll do what I want when I want!

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I'll take what I want when I want!

This is me doing what I do best; doing whatever the hell I want. Sure it annoys Sofia when I lick her can of Diet Coke, but hey, I like the cold water that condenses on it. She seems to think that having three bowls of water laid out all over the house should be enough, but it isn’t. Those bowls have stagnant and lukewarm water. She claims to change the water at least once a day, but I don’t believe her. So, I take the opportunity to lick her soda cans and glasses of juice whenever I can. The water somehow tastes better. What’s she going to do? Stop drinking her precious Diet Coke? Not likely. She downs that stuff several times a day. I swear to you now, I will continue to lick the can until she gives it up! (she never will, so I’ll have my cold condensated water forever!)

You bathe me and expect love?

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You bathe me and expect love?

Like all felines, I prefer to be clean. That said, as a Sphynx, I don’t have hair which ordinarily spreads the oils over my skin. So, what I’m getting at is that the oils on my skin attract dirt and grime. I get dirty, plain and simple. But, while I have been given regular baths since I was born, that doesn’t mean I like them. I’m a cat. We don’t do water. After I get my bath, I feel nice and clean, but I am NOT about to be all lovey over the ordeal. See that photo? That’s me giving Sofia my best ‘I will love you when I’m good and ready because you stuck me in a tub of water and degreased me with a special shampoo’ look. Okay, sure, it’s really great to be sparkly clean and sweet smelling, but I can’t let her know that. What sort of cat would I be if Sofia actually thought I was thankful? Yeah, that’s not going to happen.

I love Grumpy Cat!

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Monty looking upUs cats support one another since one day we will take over the world and will need all the help we can get, so when I saw a photo of a sweet little cat nicknamed Grumpy Cat on my writer-slave Sofia’s computer, I fell in love. Who couldn’t love a cat who tells the human world to take a hike? Sofia got up to go somewhere and left her computer, so I got the website that tells all about Grumpy Cat. I’m in love. (http://www.grumpycats.com/)

I Made a Break for it, and Lost

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My mother gets to go out, but I don't

Well, what do you know. I actually got to go outside today. It was only for a few minutes, but it was nice. The reason I was only out for a short time was because Sofia didn’t notice I sneaked out around her as she went out back! Ha! Then, she said, “Monty! You’re not allowed outside without your harness and leash.” Well, excuse me, but I’m 2 years old now and quite capable of going where I please. At least I thought I was, but Sofia has a different opinion of that. So, there I was, back inside staring out the window while she let my cat mom, Sophie, outside! Ohhh, that’s really not fair. I think I’ll sleep on her laptop now so she can’t write. That’ll teach her a lesson.

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